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11:32 a.m. - 2008-01-19
In which the cold outside reaches my heart

I think I can write this now with a level head. There is another version of this post that I wrote in the wee hours of last night that is really just unsuitable to post.

The problem is this: Torque informed me last night that he will not be back in Chicago until some point in late March. He is stuck in Minnesota until Valentine�s Day and then flies out to Thailand the next day. Fucking Thailand. Then he returns through LA then Vegas and then goes back to Minnesota. What the hell is that?

It also kind of occurred to me last night that although we are good together on the phone, there is not enough to really sustain this relationship until March. I can imagine that there might be a few more calls when we are feeling lonely late at night, but there is no point in trying to keep this going.

We talked for about an hour last night but in the end it really just seemed like good-bye. Neither one of us wanted to say that, but it was there, big and heavy.

How sad is that?

I guess I got a few good weeks out of it.

I have to go to Green Bay with an open mind and an open heart.


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