1:08 a.m. - 2008-05-06
In which I experience upscale debauchery
I went to my friend�s wedding on Saturday. I can not say that it was a simple affair. In fact, it was fancy schmancy, if I do say so. The nice thing was that the ceremony and reception were held in the same place, The Millennium Knickerbocker Hotel. This place has been around for a hundred years and is covered in crystal and gold guilt. All the chairs and tables were draped in gold silk and the flowers were all orchids floating in vases with candles. There were some serious bucks behind this thing.
I, of course, did not have a �date� date for the event, but neither did Barbie or Short Stop. He had to work all day, so he met us there. Barbie had me come to her place before we headed out for drinks and encouragement. Plus, she had one of the limo drivers that work her building, bring us to the hotel. That�s how she rolls.
We got there and went in for the ceremony. It was by far the funniest Jewish ceremony I have ever seen. The Rabbi, Bride and Groom could not stop laughing throughout. This put the audience at ease, and it went by really quickly. Plus, for those who were not familiar with Jewish traditions were not made uncomfortable by all the prayers and canting. So, the glass was smashed and everyone cheered, and we got let out into cocktail hour.
Perfect timing said that Short Stop met up with us as we were in line to go into the bar. As soon as we got into the bar area we found two more of our group, Yardi God and his wife. Then we ran into the owners of the Company. I can be fairly normal around Mr. Owner, but Mrs. Owner makes me so nervous. I let Barbie handle her, and I chit chatted for a little while. Fortunately, Boss Man and his wife showed up and took the pressure off. My funny Jew tidbit of the night was Mrs. Owner saying that she never knew before that the stepping on the glass symbolizes the destruction of the Temple. I told her that we have to fit that into everything. She laughed and then went into a story about how she and her daughter toured Israel the year before. Of course, the rich Irish Catholics get to go to Israel, but I don�t. They then had to run off to some charity function, and left the rest of us to party at dinner. Phew.
We totally figured that we would be put in a back corner somewhere we would not embarrass the Groom. Seriously, we were the next table after the best man and before the parents. It was just our group too. There was no minding our manners there. I sat between Short Stop and Boss Man. Short Stop kept getting me wine and Boss Man and I swapped my filet for his grouper. It was great.
After dinner there was more drinking. We kept sneaking out for smokes. We spent some quality time with the Bride and Groom. Barbie and I danced a lot. Short Stop does not dance. He ha told me this on many, many occasions. I, however, was busting some serious belly dancing moves to Neil Diamond. Who knew?
Needless to say, the two couples left somewhere along the line. The three of us singletons closed down the wedding. Most of the guests were staying at the hotel, but since we were the locals, we felt that we could continue elsewhere. Barbie suggested we walk to another hotel bar down the street. We walked a block or so before we realized we were going the wrong way. I was actually starting to feel my feet by this time, and knew that I could not walk back. Short Stop, being the gallant that he is, grabbed the cab in front of us and paid the guy five bucks to take us around the corner.
We had a couple more rounds at the new bar until that closed down. In the meantime, we got more and more silly. Short Stop kept hiding his cell from me and kept making references to not trusting me not to look at the messages he ad been getting. I finally sent him a text that said, �I�ll show you mine if you show me yours.� He could not resist the temptation, so he showed me the text from a former tenant requiring certain services of him. I responded by showing him one of mine from the week before about certain things The Frog Prince had done while thinking about me. The Fourth has proposed that since Short Stop was the one to delete the Prince�s number from my phone, I should have him be the one to delete the messages too. Unfortunately, there is one from her about what I should do to him, which I can not show him.
Anyway, we all decided it was time to go home. Yes, we all took separate cabs to our own separate homes. There is still a line that we are not going to cross. It is really for the best, but damn it is fun to run right up to that line and stop.
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